Popular Ghanaian counselor, Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli has perfectly given the reasons that keep ladies in bad relationships.
He made this known in his recent social media daily message he gave on his Facebook handle. The message is titled, ‘GOOD SEX AND LIES KEEP WOMEN IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS’ and it reads;
“Truth be told, good sex and lies is what it takes to waste ten years of a lady’s life. When the sex is good, she accidentally yells “I love you” out of ecstasy, but the truth is, she doesn’t love him. To add insult to injuries, is when the guy replies “I love you too” and it feels like they are so much in love and will be together for life.
It is heart breaking to hear a lady say she has been dating a man for ten years or more and is still chasing him for marriage. The question that comes to mind is, “what is really wrong with her?” It is even sadder to hear they have kids but the man is not thinking of getting married to her. The famous statement that follows is “but I love him”.
At one moment she feels so good; in another she comes to her senses and feels used. This makes her so confused and attached. She has never met anyone who makes her feel this way, a feeling so unique, sweet and good. She then concludes “I am madly in love with him”.
You are not married to him and that makes having sex with him a mistake but you called such as love. The next time you see him with another lady, you feel a sharp pain within your heart. You asked yourself “How can the one who gave me so much pleasure also cause me so much pain?
He promised to marry you in future, and you felt secured having sex with him, but as the years pass by, the marriage never comes. At one point he says “I am out of love, give me some space”. A space he uses to explore elsewhere. He comes back and it feels as if you are getting married the next year.
Before you know it, you are five years and counting. In case you don’t know, Marriage is not lip service. You cannot keep sleeping with lies and wonder why you wake up each day with disappointment. Do you think giving sex is what it takes to get a marriage?
Getting sex is so easy and cheap. You can give a man sex 24/7 yet failed to earn his heart or get his commitment or connect with his soul or build a future with him.
I feel sad to say this but the truth is, when you take sex from many relationships, you will discover there is nothing remaining. And once the lady says no to sex, such a relationship comes to an end. The question, if a man is with you just because of sex, then who or what are you?
Having sex with someone you are not married to is a mistake, and such mistakes define your future if you term it as love. Life is all about making adjustments. If you don’t correct your mistakes today, you live to regret.
When you subtract the number of years you are in your current relationship from your age, ask yourself this, was I ready for marriage when I started dating? What you thought was love when you started the relationship and what you think is love now, are they the same?
It will be obvious that what you called love was a mistake. “When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways” – 1 Corinthians 13:11 (CEV). Marriage is not by mistake, it is intentional. No wise person holds onto their mistakes, they rather use them as stepping stones to rise.
In conclusion “An inheritance obtained too early in life is not a blessing in the end” – Proverbs 20:21 (NLT).”