Popular Ghanaian counsellor, Counsellor Frank Edem Adofoli has once again advised people in relationships never to ignore the emotions of their partners.
He made this known in his recent submission on Facebook which he titled, ‘DON’T MARRY ANYONE WHO BRINGS OUT THE MONSTER IN YOU.’
Read the full post below;
DON’T MARRY ANYONE WHO BRINGS OUT THE MONSTER IN YOU
Written by Counselor Adofoli
Relationships are supposed to add value to our lives, not to take away from us. Relationships are to make us better and not to make us worse. But there are some relationships which wake up the dead beast in us rather than bringing out the hidden potential in us. We should not allow relationships to destroy us for the fear of being alone or lonely.
I have seen people whose lives have been turned upside down because of a bad relationship or marriage. I know a very calm, quiet woman who became a nagging talker because of a relationship, I have seen a well behaved gentleman who became an abuser because of a bad relationship. Relationships are meant to bring the good out of you not the bad.
If you found yourself in a relationship which brought out the monster in you or turned you into one, you need to tell yourself, you are in a wrong relationship. you have to end the relationship, come out, and get yourself back.
If you are in a relationship where your partner cannot be faithful and honest with you, but continues to entertain others, do things that make you feel insecure and because of their actions, instead of enjoying the relationship, you have become insecure, always thinking about what they are doing with others when they are not with you;
And your partner makes you feel you are the problem and does nothing about their actions which is causing you to behave the way you are behaving, the best option is let go such relationship. If your partner truly values you, your feelings will be important to them. The fact that they don’t see anything wrong with their actions, even though their action is causing you to behave in a way they don’t like and their action is bringing out the part of you they don’t like, it means they are not willing to change.
If you have a partner whose action is causing you to exhibit negative emotions, whose action has turned you into a nagging person, who doesn’t see anything wrong with their actions or are not willing to stop, you need to understand you are in a wrong relationship.
If their actions are causing you to become disrespectful, abusive, cold, etc, It’s time you let go such a relationship. When you have a partner who doesn’t listen to you, you eventually learn to live without them, you become disconnected from them emotionally. That is not how relationships are meant to be.
It takes two to make a relationship work, there is always a blessing in saving a relationship than destroying one. That is why it’s better to bend a little rather than to break a relationship. It’s better to listen to your partner and their emotions than to ignore them and ruin the relationship.
The truth is that, your partner expects more from you because he or she would be willing to do that much for you. They don’t tell you to stop your actions that is having a negative impact on your relationship because they want to control you. They do that because that is the only way to save the relationship and stop them from leaving.
Your unwillingness to change for the better will cause them to question themselves. They wonder if you love them as much as they love you. They wonder if you think of them as much as they think of you.
And if they meant that much to you, you will feel their pains, you will understand their emotions and when you fail to do that, it’s a clear indication they have no connection. They have no relationship. And for that matter you two have no future.
In conclusion, “The righteous person is a guide to his friend, but the path of the wicked leads them astray” – Proverbs 12:26 (GNT).