Today’s message from renowned counselor, Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli is about why people can’t love their partners like how they are supposed to.
The counselor titled his message, WHY WE ARE NOT ABLE TO LOVE OUR PARTNER and it reads;
“WHY WE ARE NOT ABLE TO LOVE OUR PARTNER
Written by Counselor Adofoli
There are lots of loveless relationships in the system and those who made it to marriage are finding their ways out. Sometimes we are quick to blame the reason why two people are not able to love each other or keep their relationship going on combability. A lie that someone out there is meant for me and once I meet them, everything will click and work perfectly.
But unfortunately, it is not so. As a matter of a fact, even two enemies can choose to love each other better. Have you wondered why we treat a family or relative better than our spouse? Why you treat your parents better than your spouse? Is it not because they were there for you before your partner came into your life. If that is true, one might ask why then is one able to love their child better than the partner they had the child with?
Have you wondered why you are able to love your child against all odds but not able to do the same for your partner? We do that because we didn’t choose them, they were given to us as a gift so we only accept them. We accepted that, no matter how bad our parents are, they are our parents and we have to deal with them. Because we accept our children as ours, we are able to understand them and be patient with them.
But when it comes to our spouses or partners or relationship or friendship, we choose them and for the fact that we have the power to do that over and over, we find it difficult to accept them for who they are or accept some behaviour or attitude from them. This is what makes loving them difficult. We are not able to love them against all odds because we somehow believe we can always choose someone better.
We are able to cultivate our family, the people we didn’t choose, prepare them, help them, be part of their growth no matter what. We don’t give up on them. We see them as plants that we need to care for and protect from any harm. But when it comes to the people we choose, we rather believe we have power or influence over them. So we try to control them and if that does not work, we easily give up on them or leave them because we can always choose someone else.
God being our Father, not just by position or authority but also by example, demonstrates love for us by accepting us even when we were sinners. He did not choose us with the mindset that there are better people elsewhere. He showed us that love is about relationship and not perfection. He did not condemn us. He first accepted us and worked on us or helped us to become better. He did that because he loves us.
God has an issue with sin and not us as persons. He separates us from what we do, our past, our shortfall, our illness. We cannot truly love our spouse or partner if we cannot accept them. We cannot help them become better if we cannot accept them.
We also end up fighting our partner for the things they do instead of fighting the things they do. If you want to truly love your partner, accept them, identify the things they do which you don’t like and help them fight the things they do which you dislike. Don’t fight them for the things they do. If he has an issue with Anger, your enemy is Anger and not your partner. Fight the anger and not your partner.
Tell your partner you love them for who they are but you don’t like the things they do, and that you are ready to work with them, standby them to get rid of the bad habit. When you reject them or attack them as a person because of what they do, they also fight back and believe you don’t love them. That is why we are not able to help them change.
In conclusion, “But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful’ – Romans 5:8 (CEV).”
Source: ghgossip.com
