Renowned relationship coach, Counsellor Frank Adofoli has elaborated on the need for individuals to make their spouses their best friends.
According to him, marriages tend to suffer if the individuals involved are not best friends adding that best friends really understand each other.
His mess age reads;
“MARRIAGE SUFFERS IF YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND
Written by Counselor Adofoli
It is such a beautiful experience to find someone who asks for nothing but your company, someone who is not in your life because of what they will get from you but just want to be with you. That is who we call a best friend. It will take someone like that to make marriage beautiful. Not someone who is getting married to you because you are beautiful or handsome, your riches, family, academic qualification, etc
Best friends are with you because of their loyalty for you but a spouse is with you because of your role in their lives; you are my wife so I expect you to cook for me when I get home. You are my husband, I expect you to pay my bills and fix my hair, car, wardrobe, etc.
Spouses are always expectant and have high expectations of their partners to meet them half way by performing certain tasks. A best friend on the other hand comes with no expectations and because of that that, they appreciate everything given and are not disappointed. Whilst spouses get disappointed when their expectations are not met and have mixed feelings about their partner.
Many spouses don’t know how to say sorry when they go wrong, especially the males, they hold on to their ego and expose their marriage to suffering. Best friends know how to say sorry when things go bad in their relationship, not necessarily because they are guilty but they understand the power of such words and use it to save their relationship; they know the value of what they share.
Best friends take time to learn about their friends, explore them, examine the good and the bad and won’t ignore their friends for anything, because they know them better. Many spouses don’t take time to learn about their spouse, to understand them or know their feelings, so they assume, predict and easily ignore.
Best friends understand their friends’ mood just by looking at them and knowing when to say a word and when not to. Because many spouses don’t understand their partners’ mood, they speak to them at the wrong time, with the wrong choice of words and at wrong tone of voice.
One of the qualities that makes a best friend a special person is how they invest in you and challenge you because they want to bring the best out of you; a mere spouse regulates their partners to duties and prevent them from seeking greater heights. Many spouses lost their beauty, career and gave up on their passion after marriage.
Best friends help their friends even when they know they can’t help them back, which is different from being just a spouse. Many spouses change towards their partners because they couldn’t help them or do what they expect them to do.
Another hard truth is, many spouses are not down with their partners, serving them is so hard. They do things for them out of favour. They are nice when their mood is good. A best friend is always down with you, will do anything for you out of love.
Marriage is not a journey of lovers but that of best friends, if you have to embark on such a journey, it is best you take time to find that best friend. Getting married to just a spouse may leave tension and sadness in your heart. But for a best friend, they will deposit happiness and sweet memories. To a best friend, it not just a union but a relationship between treasures.
In conclusion, to have a lasting marriage you need a spouse who is your best friend. For the bible says “Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble” – Proverbs 17:17 (MSG).”
Source: ghgossip.com
