Renowned counsellor, Counsellor Edem Adofoli has disclosed how love can be grown.
The popular relationship coach made this known in a recent Facebook post he made on his Facebook page which he titled, IT TAKES CARE TO GROW LOVE.
Read the full message below;
I have been asked on serval occasions, does love grow? Can I accept to marry someone I don’t love but they love me, and hope the love will grow one day? Yes it is very true love grows but not in every relationship or marriage. Love grows in a relationship or marriage where there is care.
But I won’t advice you to marry someone because he or she cares about you even though you don’t care about them. Love is about sharing; it takes two to make it work so get someone who wants you as much as you want them. With such a person, you can give to them as much as they give you.
It should not be a one-way relationship with the hope that love will grow in such a relationship. It will feel like one is just taking advantage of the other. The one giving will eventually get tired of giving. Its like a farmer giving his all to a farm which yields no result at the end of the day. That farmer will get tired and abandon the farm no matter the effort or care he gave it.
It is sad how some people abuse those who love and shower them with so much care. They are sometimes labelled as the fool and played around left and right, which is not supposed to be the case. If you know you are still in love with someone, be it your Ex or crush and you have not gotten over them, even though you may not be seeing them anymore, you still live with them in your mind.
Hardly does a day go by without you mentioning their names, thinking about them, secretly checking on them. You dream about them. You tell others you are no more but always looking at their pictures, etc. Please don’t accept any relationship proposal else you end up hurting them and painting yourself as a bad person to them.
It’s always better to wait long, get yourself fixed and regain your mind, than to get into a wrong relationship or end up marrying wrong. If you get yourself in a marriage without working on yourself, your mind and heart will not be with your spouse, no amount of care shown will make love grow in such a marriage.
Care is not how much someone gives you or the size of their pay check, but rather the size of their commitment. It is so surprising that people end up pushing away those who love them in exchange for those who want to use them. If your partner tries their best to help you whilst they are struggling too and you tell them they don’t love you because they didn’t give you much or more as you expected, then you don’t know the meaning of love.
Such an act is not help but love, for they could have use on themselves what they gave you, but because they care for you more than they themselves they gave that to you. The least you can do is to appreciate them even if it does not meet your expectations, rather than saying hurtful words like “I don’t think you love me that much”.
There are people who give you more than you expect because that is not their all and are not struggling just to buy you and use you. Care goes beyond that. Care goes beyond help, for the one helping you won’t kill themselves for you or give you their all.
When you have a misunderstanding, fight or argument in your relationship, and as a result you put up a wall but your partner climbs over it to check on you or talk to you, that’s a sign which shows he or she cares about you; unlike someone who abandons you and uses the opportunity to look for someone else.
In conclusion, “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” – Romans 12:10 (NLT).”
Source: ghgossip.com
