According to renowned counsellor, Counselor Adofoli, relationships comes with some learning aspect.
In his view, anyone who is not willing to learn should never consider being in a relationship because such a person will have problems.
Taking to his Facebook page, he penned down his latest message which reads;
“DON’T GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO LEARN
Is the title for Today’s Motivational Message
Written by Counselor Adofoli
Lasting or happy relationships do not lie in getting married to someone or being in a relationship with someone. If you want your relationship to work or last or to enjoy it, you must work it. You must dive for it. A Happy relationship is not how much you promise your partner or what you plan to do with them in the future but rather what you do during the relationship.
People start relationships with passion, great enthusiasm but as time goes by, their passion dies off, their eagerness wanes. They stop doing the very things which made their partners happy in the relationship. They start giving excuses and building defense for making their partner unhappy.
Lots of men are culprits to this, they start the relationship with long chats, frequent phone calls and as the relationship grows, they get distant. No more chats or phone calls and when they are asked why the sudden change, the answer they usually give is “I am not the call kind of person, or chat type of a person”. Yet they always have call history of calls to other persons in the name of business, etc, they are always seen online.
They somehow believe they have a relationship. You don’t need to be a call type of guy or the chat type to be in a relationship. There is a reason for calling your partner or chatting them. If you find no reason for doing that then you have no relationship with them. Then your proposal was a mistake. But if you believe you love them and want the relationship then you got to find a way of reaching out to them.
You might not be a fan of talking on the phone because you had no friend or family member you spent time talking to, but now that you want to make someone your family, a part and parcel of your life, that’s enough reason to reach out for your phone to talk to them, to check on them, to hear their voice, know how they are doing, let them know what’s going on with you.
If for one or two reasons you forget because its something new to you, you can learn by getting a schedule or app or alarm to notify you. You are only seeking to help build your relationship. If you don’t invest into your relationship, don’t expect it to grow, don’t expect to enjoy it. If you continue sounding like an outmoded software; “I am not the call type of guy or the chat type” you end up killing the bond you share with your partner.
No relationship stays the same, either its growing or dying. If you remain the old you, you kill your relationship. And don’t be surprised to hear your partner asking for a break up. You might not know how hard it was for them to come to such a conclusion. Saying goodbye to someone you love is not an easy thing to do. The feeling you get by ending a relationship with someone you want to spend your life with is woeful.
If they choose not to leave, the memories they shared with you tortures them, how you used to treat them better when the relationship started hurts them. Don’t lie that you love them so they should accept things as it is now, when you can do better. You can’t keep hurting someone in a relationship and yet have the confidence to tell them you love them, when you are not willing to do anything to stop hurting them.
You are not fair by telling them to take you as you are now when what you showed to them as who you were is different from the present you. The new you is not what they fell for. If you know the new you is the real you, then the question is, why did you fake to be someone you are not in the beginning? why did you mislead them to be in a relationship with you?
One day you will look back and regret letting go someone who really loved you, because of pride or your refusal to change for the best and your unwillingness to learn how to treat them better. At that time, nothing breaks your heart or hurts you so much more than to see them happy with someone else.
In conclusion “To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction” – Proverbs 12:1 (NLT).”
Source: ghgossip.com
